Start when they are young.
When you start young it makes it easier for them to grow and mature in the kitchen. By starting them younger they feel like it is fun. Let them do simple things. Let them spray the pan with PAM, throw away trash and food cuttings, or help stir batter. This gets them accustom to the process by gathering food to the counter, playing the gopher getting needed materials, and learning there are steps that must be followed in a specific order. This is just the first stepping stone to understanding food prep and cooking.
But what if I didn't start young?
As they progress to older ages, they are able to handle more task and more dangerous operations such as cutting, boiling, frying. We have used baking as a practical math application and having them measure out ingredients or double them for a large batch. This helps them both to visualize measurements, learn step by step instructions, and become more proficient in math. This works in multiple ways. It give you and them confidence in what they can do in the kitchen, for example an eight year old can use a microwave but maybe not fry things on the stovetop. Over time though, they will be ready for the frying pan and will gain the awareness and confidence to complete the task. It was difficult for me to allow them to go from learning the prep work of cutting with a knife and preparing food to graduating by taking those ingredients and actually using them on the stove top.
Work one on one with them.
I found out from early troubles, that it works best to only have one helper in the kitchen. If you have more than one, doing a group cook lesson, you are playing manager and dictating different jobs. They aren't able to see the big picture. In one on one work, they get to take part in each step and see the recipe come together as a whole. Also there is a greater advantage in that it makes it easier to watch just one at a time and catch mistakes, like turning on the wrong burner on the stove top or giving guidance on properly peeling potatoes so that they don't cut themselves. It also gives me one on one time with a specific child to talk and bond over supper. It then opens up to where they are able to start making meals on their own. Especially when you break a leg and can't stand on it to cook.
Cooking together makes for more adventurous eaters
A huge benefit to cooking with your children means they are often more willing to try something that they have cooked. From their school studies, like countries of origin or styles of cooking, we have tried various recipes. Let's be honest, kids like chicken nuggets, corn dogs, and French fries. I can recall one time we made mustard greens. Now as a family we don't care much for greens, but as it was a part of our history lesson, we decided to cook it. We took a pound of bacon and cooked it down. After removing the bacon we added fresh mustard greens and a little bit of water, and the kids ended up trying and liking the greens. Now that doesn't mean they will eat anything in the world, but at least by learning about the process and engaging it, they are more willing to try different foods.
Learning outside the cookbook
If you don't know this about me, I'm not a baker. I don't like doing certain things at a certain time at a certain temperature with no deviation. A machine can do that, but I find that taking things you really enjoy the taste of such as garlic, soy sauce, or pineapple juice can enhance the taste of dishes that you might prepare 30 times a year to give it a different taste. I enjoy looking at many recipes and coming up with a combination of these and what I currently have in the fridge to create my own dishes. So when working together making supper, it helps to allow them to make their own choices in how we prepare the food. Adding a little brown sugar to a red sauce or putting a sharp cheddar cheese into the alfredo sauce instead of mozzarella, or adding a chicken bullion cube to green beans. All these are little changes that can make a big difference in taste and it teaches them to experiment and be brave enough to try new things.
In conclusion
So what is the end goal, what is the purpose of this. First, it is a way to spend a little extra time one on one with your children. Also, it makes cooking fun, not a chore or task that they have to do so we can eat. In the end, we want the children when they leave home, go to college, or are just home alone, to be able to take care of themselves and not burn the house down. I believe because of the way food is prepared at grocery stores, and how we have become a society that eats out, that many skills have fallen away and are no longer a normal part of daily life. I would be scared to say that 9 out of 10 people don't know how to make biscuits that don't come out of a can or a freezer.
This is more than just providing but a passing down of heritage, like Southern cooking, or smoking BBQ, or learning traditional meals from the country of your ancestors. Other skills like visiting a cane grinding, butchering a hog, or processing a deer also put one in touch with where food comes from and gives them a new appreciation for their food. They are skills they may never need, but ones that they will have gained.
Furthermore food is more than just a meal, it's a way to show affection. We try to make special meals for birthday, or carry a meal over to someone just home from the hospital or after having a baby. By providing food, it gives more meaning than just a casserole to sustain you, but it is given in love and with meaning. So impart these skills and encourage this mindset in your children, by letting them begin cooking with you today. Bon appetit!
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